A leap of faith…
When I moved out of what is now my ex-husband’s house I spent the next three weeks waiting for an apartment to finally become available in my small town. Once that day came I signed the contract on the spot and moved in 3 days later. At that time I had roughly $500 of my own money with a ton of debt staring at me. My apartment rent is $575/month with a deposit of $575 and is around 600sq/ft.
At this time my debt looked like this:
- $1,600 borrowed from my Grandma
- $2,000 borrowed from my aunt
- $1,400 owed to IRS
- $3,900 on a maxed out credit card
- $1,500 owed to the salon I worked at for rent
- $600 owed to state sales tax for my business
- $18,000 owed to student loans
Terrifying!!
In 7 months I took home from my job $25,000. I paid off close to $14,000 throughout those months leaving me with $11,000 to live on.
Dave Ramsey says to put $1,000 in savings before paying debt, so I put away $2,000. After paying rent, utilities, food and all the necessities I am left with an average of $2,000 in my checking every month. Of course it varied give or take $500 a month but I found and recognized my comfort zone after a couple months of the new place and expenses.
That’s when I started to tackle that debt!
I sat down and wrote ALL of it out. I knew what I owed but when I wrote it all on a chart and taped it to my bedroom wall it was REAL. But, I knew that I was never going to accomplish what I want and what I need to in order to give my daughter that life I had envisioned for us until this wasn’t staring me in the face every day.
I didn’t buy anything fun. No new clothes for myself. No home decor. I got a couch online for free in a nearby town and about 6 months later I broke down and bought a $20 slip cover for it.
I used shelves that I had from my marriage for my kitchen storage. I got a long table from a friend for free which I spray painted with paint I already had which became a stand for my tv. My tv was also free as that one was left in our old garage and I took it when I left the house.
Frugal. Frugal. FRUGAL!!
I worked hard and sacrificed. I could have easily just made the minimum payments for my loans and eventually someday they would be gone and I could have fun spending that $14,000 elsewhere.
Imagine the wardrobe that could have been!!
But, this year I’m using as my transition year. Getting my life together so my daughter can have the mama who isn’t stressed about money.
The parts I was most afraid of being divorced was how Stella would handle living with split parents and how I would be able to provide for her financially. I didn’t have confidence in myself to be able to do that.
I DID IT!
It’s been a year since I moved out and I reached beyond what I thought I could accomplish.
My credit score went from 570 in February to 789 SEVEN months later!
This is only important to me because I plan to buy a house in the near future.
I do get child support and that is being stashed on a card for now. I haven’t used any of it yet. I wanted to make sure that all of my success was my own.
Any cash I received I added to a safe, my rule is anything above $100 in my purse gets added to the safe. I keep a stash of coins too. My theory which works for me is out of sight and out of mind.
So technically I have 3 emergency funds
- Bank
- Child support
- Cash/coins
As far as I’m concerned, I only have what is in my checking account.
Get to work now!
- Write yourself a debt chart and put it where you look EVERY DAY
- Start an emergency fund
- Put away cash and don’t use ANY of it
- Any time you pay towards a debt, write it on the chart and pay off one debt at a time until you can cross the whole debt off
- Make sure you continue to live within the same means as when you started paying debt
I would highly recommend everyone do this. It’s easy to avoid over spending. It keeps me “living like I’m poor” until I’m not.
For all of you, whether a parent or not, please don’t let finances be the reason you stay in a bad relationship. You can do it. I never believed anyone when they told me that I would be just fine. After all, they weren’t the ones going through it, what could they know? But it all depends on how much you want something and what is driving you!