One of the factors contributing to my stress was the realization that I had spent the past two years, since my daughter was born, completely ignoring what I loved. Now, I love my daughter and I’ll even admit I’m obsessed. So, between having to care for her, take care of the household needs, managing my career as a self employed hairstylist, and a ton of other responsibilities that were dumped on me, I stopped doing the things I that made me who I am.
I went years without drawing, years without music, years without even a spa night where I would do my own nails and face masks. I had no outlet. I was in constant stress.
The first weekend my daughter stayed with her dad, I came home and didn’t know what to do. I stood there for a while in silence thinking, ‘there’s no one here who needs me’. I didn’t know how to relax and make the time pass.
So I cleaned. I cleaned everything. Then after I felt my obligations were complete, I allowed myself to lay on the couch and put my feet up and watch tv.
Still, no one needed me. I relaxed and it was such an odd feeling, but it felt so good.
The next night I took out my old sketch books and poured myself a glass of wine. It had been years. I thought I would be terrible at it but after I relaxed a bit and pushed aside my stress, I forced myself to enjoy my drawing time. And I did.
Slowly I remembered the things that made me happy. The things that kept my stress at bay. I started to enjoy life more.
There was something to look forward to besides feeling like I’m going through the same motions every day.
I encourage anybody, regardless of divorce or breakups, to remember the things that make you who you are. Something so small as a pencil and paper can be enough. I lived off of what other people needed of me I just never thought that I needed anything.
Allow yourself to take that deep breath.
Check out my ‘Poems’ category for the one titled “On a Date with Myself” which I wrote during this time. I guarantee many of you will relate.